frenchfrysweatshirt:

a haiku about periods

haagen dazs ice cream

that stain is not coming out
i am so horny

(via classof1991)

I’m really good at keeping secrets because five minutes later I forget what you told me because I don’t care

(via avoxier)

i actually like being up early i just don’t like getting up early

(Source: hoshigumayuugi, via s-targaze)

yesimbeyonce:

If you can’t handle me at my Lindsay Lohan then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my Beyoncé

(via s0justsayfuckit)

darrynek:

why does it seem like every dad sneezes really loud

(via richardjustin)

whisperedmumbling:

“we change our hair when something traumatic happens to us”

                 - girl code 

celeryandhummus:

our kids will probably attend a middle school dance where the theme is the 2010’s

they’ll wear leggings with ugg boots and twerk to “call me maybe”

man wtf kind of era are we living in.

(via shaaaauun)

hungarian:

it’d be cool to speak like 20 different languages & keep it a secret from everyone & then during a time of crisis, u could speak some fluent russian to some russian guy holding a gun to your head & all your friends will be like daaamn

(via bunnyfacee)